Is it ever ok to butt into a friends relationship?  

I have mixed feelings on this topic, friends are always going to butt into your relationships to a certain extent, we usually ask for advice which friends usually give, after all that's what friends are there for right...  Funny how when we don't happen to like what their saying we then accuse them of interfering or butting in *sometimes the truth hurts*  

One of my recent survey questions was:  Would you tell your friend if you knew their partner was cheating on them?  My answer was yes but then I got to thinking to a relationship incident that happened to me a couple of years back which should of given me pretty good reason to choose "no"  

I was in a fairly solid relationship with a guy I'd been seeing for over a year, I use the word "fairly" because the picture I'm about to paint won't come across all that rosey....  Anyways cutting a long story short I had a weekend fling with a man living in another state, our extended one night stand included lunch out in the city where out of a million people that I could of bumped into I had to bump into one of my boyfriends best mates!!  *I couldn't hide anywhere so I just ducked to the floor super quickly and probably made my presence even more obvious*  

For months afterwards I was literally shaking in my boots, I just kept thinking he's going to tell him and that will be the end of everything  *I cheated yes but that didn't mean I didn't love this guy, just means I wasn't faithful*  

Avoiding my boyfriends mate was not an option as we all worked in the same place...  Eventually to my relief one night at work his mate told me "I did see you that day but it's not my place to say anything"  Phew!!  

While some people are probably thinking "well what kind of mate is that, he should of told him"  For more reasons other than my selfish ones it was a blessing in disguise that he never said a word because it gave my boyfriend and I just enough rope to hang ourselves.   

Our relationship was over within the next year and no not because I cheated, I honestly think we could of worked through that but we broke up because we obviously weren't "the one" for eachother...  He dumped me so there's my karma anyways.  

I'm sure his mate would of stepped up if there were marriage plans on the table, so maybe it is ok to take a backseat sometimes and let people work it out for themselves?

Which will take you further in life, a degree or a boob job?   

Brains vs Artificial Beauty.  I was listening to a radio station the other day when they posed this exact question, at first I laughed and thought how stupid of course an education means more, but that's it a education does mean more but will it actually take you further in life?  

The average cost of a university degree is $20,000, you burn your brain cells studying for an average of four years, you enter your chosen field earning basically the minimum wage.  Sure you get that warm fuzzy feeling from doing something you love but maybe after so much hard work and schooling you might not even want that career path anymore....  

The average cost of a boob job is $12,000, it's a man's world in most businesses and I'm sure the boss can overlook not having a degree if you've compensated with large breasts!  You'll never have to make office coffee, men will be making them for you!  People might not take you as seriously with a bulging bustline but hey at least you'll be noticed!  

Without forgetting there always has to be a down side to every plus, brains last until our memories give way and I'm sure even plastic boobs have to start drooping at some stage in your life....

Is Alcohol the new lubricant?  

Reading up on some stats and I discovered that a whopping 70% of both males and females admitted to first time sexual encounters whilst being under the influence of alcohol.  Those stats made me start thinking well could we be using alcohol as a new lubricant?  

I would say over 70% of my own "first" sexual encounters have been lubricated with alcohol, my excuse is that it settles the nerves, provides a little extra confidence and gives females a valid reason for the giggles.   

Alcohol produces a hormone called Dopamine, which gives us a sexual boost and helps to fuel our sex drives - Hell yes I can agree with that!  

We've all heard of the term "Beer Goggles"  some may say "Beer Goggles can cause relationships"  The term refers to how people often appear more attractive to you after you've had a few drinks.  It could just be a convenient excuse used to explain a regrettable sexual experience or could it actually be a proven science?  

Scientists say that alcohol can affect our ability to judge facial attractiveness or is that yet another excuse for getting horny after a few drinks?   While women may not suffer with erectile disfunction helped along with alcohol, we do suffer with far worse hangovers than men!  

So what's your take on alcohol being used as a lubricant and have you ever put that into practise?  

Could you live with betrayal?  

In most relationships we all have our limits and lines never to be crossed and one of those lines would have to be cheating!   

How many times have you heard people say "If he/she cheats on me then I'm leaving"  I can agree with that statement because that boundary is definitely in place within my own relationship, but what about if the unthinkable actually happens and your heart is betrayed by the one you love?   Could you pick up the pieces and continue on or is it really the end of the line?  

If we follow the example of society today cheating has become far more forgiveable, people are choosing to sweep it under the carpet, dust themselves off and move on.  For an example take a look at Bill and Hillary Clinton, I don't think there was one single rock left for Hillary to hide under after that scandal went public and after it was all said and done, she picked up the pieces and continued along.  

Simone and Shane Warne showed us that hey even cheat on me three times and I'll still take you back,  not an example I would expect any modern Australian woman to follow but it seems that we are.....  Statistics are showing that 60% of people are actually in the midst of doing the dirty on their partners as we speak!  

So what are your boundaries and limits and what do you class as cheating?  Largely thanks to the internet many women and men are engaging in on-line flirting, do you class that as cheating or just harmless fun?

Does age matter?  

When it comes to relationships does age really matter and how old is too old?  

We seem to focus quite heavily on the distance of age gaps in relationships these days, "oh he's too old for you, it will never work"  but whatever happened to the saying that age is just a number?  Most people can say it but yet they're still gobsmacked when they see a man in his mid forties dating a woman in her early twenties.  

The positives of a relationship are unconnected to age, you may write the age gap down on your con side of the list but you can only list a negative once, so it wasn't really age that caused the relationship problems was it.....   

I was once involved in a relationship with a thirteen year age gap, I was 23 and he was 37.  Well you should of heard everyone forming an opinion, what right they had to judge me I'll never know but most people literally took offence to my relationship like it harmed them in some way.... 

Despite the way I was judged during that relationship, my head still turns if I see an age gap of that size....  

Let me put a couple of numbers to you, -  39 and 25 .......  42 and 56  not so bad is it!!   

So what are your experiences with age gaps and how old is too old for you?

Can Men & Women be "Just Friends"?  

A lot of people say it's not possible to just be friends with the opposite sex but I tend to think that's an old fashioned way of thinking and comes from the days where men worked, women kept house and usually the two only crossed paths in order to "hook up"  

While I don't think it's impossible to be just friends, I do think it's virtually impossible to not have at least one sexually arousing thought towards that friend, even if we're not the first to put our hands up and admit it.  

Do men and women sometimes treat each other as the enemy in order not to get too close?  

Sometimes even the longest running friendships can feel like an isolated one way street if you happen to find yourself a partner and your friend is still single, is it because they're no longer in the running for your affections?  

I was browsing through some survey statistics and discovered that 83% of women do think being "just friends" is possible but 45% of those women are already friends with ex-lovers. - Obviously a boundary had to of been crossed there at some point....  Maybe it's easier to maintain a friendship after the relationship happens?  

I'm really interested to hear your thoughts or experiences.

Define Sexy - It's virtually the same as asking you to define "Normal"  Everyone is going to have a completely different definition.   

You have your everyday sexy stereotypes eg; High heel shoes, mini skirts, large breasts...  But this is the real world and we can't possibly all look the same, so define sexy in your own words....  

Some people might say it's clothing,  but hey there is no way that we can all fill a bikini like Pammy Anderson can...    

Less is more - More means less??  You turn on the television and see Christina shaking her booty wearing barely a wash cloth and some of us experience our blood pressure rising.  On the other end of the scale we see Delta Goodrem hardly showing any skin at all and some people would say that her look is "sexier"    Surely I can't be the only one confused...  

Is it looks or personality or a combination of both?   I define sexy as "I know it when I see it"   My fiance has this look that he gives me, a kinda cross between a smirk and a sneer.  Every time I see it I totally melt, he could be wearing a clown costume or an Armani suit and it wouldn't matter which because that look gets me every time!!  

What is your definition of sexy?

You spend all that time being pissed off with someone so you're not going to just "let go" that easily, sometimes we're just too stubborn to let something go....  Is moving past the anger a show of weakness or strength?  My answer is strength but try telling that to the stubborn gene inside of me!  

Why hold your hand on a hot stove?" You know it hurts so why keep doing it?  

Some things are what we would class as unforgivable eg; sleeping with your best friend's girl/guy but why get hurt twice?  I'm not saying to be friends with them again or even forgive them for that matter but holding a grudge is only going to slow you down.  And pfft what would they care anyways, they stole your partner in the first place so I highly doubt they care what you think!!  

At the ridiculous end of the grudge scale you have your grudges that travel through countless generations, eg; He stole some hay from my farm back in 1788 and now no one in the family is allowed to have anything to do with their family...  200 plus years later and the feud is still going strong!!  I have seen Oprah programs where people forgive murderers for gods sake.  

So let's weigh up the grudge and the chain reaction that follows - initial event that pissed you off - anger, revenge, avoidance....  None of which is productive, anger never results in a smile, only cries.  So do yourself a favour and refocus all of that energy you put into being pissed off into something positive for yourself :)

Well hey there, long time no personal blog.  I guess I've been hiding behind my opinions instead of updating my mundane existance, nah well not really mundane because I do feel like there is a purpose to my existance :)

How easy have guys got it...  They can bump into one of their mates down the street and just do the polite nodding gesture, no words need to be spoken and the nod of the head says it all, hey there mate good to see you!!    Craig went to the supermarket the other day and bumped into the male half of the couple that we were friends with for a while...

They both ignored eachother......  I suppose I took that ignorance as "don't talk to us"  but now tonight after talking to the female half of the couple I've discovered men can sometimes be bitchier than us chicks!!

Instead of calling her the "female half of the couple"  how about I give her a name, I get the feeling I may be talking about "Simmer" a little more often...

I think Craig needs to and Simmer's guy also needs to stop thinking too far into things and just let girls be girls :)

Females can forget all about what sex-loving Germaine Greer promised us in the '60s because there's no way women can sleep with a guy without bonding, since women "are vessels and ... we seek to be filled".  It validates us as women and also sexual creatures if a man wants to keep the relationship going

I remember in my own experiences I drummed it into my head that no matter how sexy or a great catch he was I was not going to attach myself, I was going to sit back, relax and go with the flow!  Pfft yeah right.  Not sleeping with a guy on the first date is hard enough for me to conquer let alone not attaching myself when I do....

 We try and convince ourselves that it isn't so, we're grown women and we can handle a fling surely but sex will always leave us feeling empty unless we are certain that we are loved and that the act of sex is part of a bigger picture that we are loved for our whole selves and not just our bodies".

Thanks to the increasingly small number of single guys in the world - "they're all gay or taken" - girls are no longer lusting after what we once did:  Commitment and a proposal.

"Instead, they're happy to be one of three being played by a guy, and know that there are so many chicks out there and not that many blokes, that they need to take what they can get." Huh? 

I believe while on the outside some women might say they're happy in their booty call relationships but what are they really thinking when they're home alone on a Friday night while their stud is off trying to bed your best friend!

My god there are super serious superficial fucking bitches in this world - Ouch but I guess you get the idea that I'm a little ticked off....  

I tried a little bit of what you could call a social experiment of sorts...  Created a brand new profile for Craig and myself on a rival adult site to what we're a member of,  instead of displaying face pics of us I thought why not display something mysterious but inviting and see if we get any responses.....  

Well wouldn't you know it but half of the female contacts we received were from women who had previously flat out said that they weren't interested... 

I'm sure no one is ever going to actually admit that they were intimated by my photo's but I guess they don't have to really do they, lol.  

Our profile without face pics states the same thing as the profile with the mysterious photo so why the hell are people so god damned superficial!  

Good looks can't hold a conversation, perfect bodies can't talk either so why do looks play such a big part in friendships??

Why is it that the harder we try to forget something, the more it is that we think of it!  

I tend to live my life a little along the lines of hmmm maybe if I just don't mention it or try really really hard to forget it maybe it will all go away....  It's a novel concept but unfortunately it doesn't quite work like that.....  

Last Tuesday I was supposed to appear in court for that stupid charge that has been hanging over my head for what seems like forever - Harassing someone via a text message. 

For weeks before my actual court date I stressed out daily knowing that I had to organise legal aid so this crap could be over and done with but every day I'd brush it aside and say "nah I'll do it tomorrow"  

I can't even put it into words properly but the thought of leaving the house to be lectured by some rude legal aid lawyer makes me feel physically sick!    I refuse to even see what the big deal was in the first place and I'm still convinced that this silly bitch making my life hell is blowing half of the local police population. 

One single harassing text message and I get brought up on charges, pffft!   Well anyways I didn't go to court and knock on wood because I haven't heard from the police.... yet...  I highly doubt that they'll forget about it for very long but the longer they do the better I will feel!!

If I could just stop crying for a few minutes I'd be able to put my thoughts into some kind of perspective and work through this shit I'm feeling right now.  

Remember when we were little and the rules were "I wasn't invited to your party so now you're not invited to mine"  Well Craig seems to still live by those rules...  I was forgotten about this Valentine's Day and it was because I didn't get Craig anything last year...   

I have a really bad anxiety problem and it wasn't like I went to a thousand different stores and just chose not to get him a present, I was trapped here inside this prison!  

Now just by me simply saying to him I feel a little forgotten about world war four has broken out...  Big deal no Valentine's Day present I'll get over it but it's going to take longer to get over what he screams at me while "defending" himself.  

I've also been crying out for some sexual attention for a few days now, apparently Craig has as well but he chooses to satisfy himself rather than bothering me and just fills me in on the details to hurt me after the fact.....  

Everything is just going to pieces and we treat eachother like worst enemies.  

With my hand/arm being broken and in plaster it's so hard to do "normal" things for myself such as showering, preparing food etc and approaching "bad mood boy"  is not really an option at the moment - These are the times where I wish I had my mum in the same state at least!!

Secret life of us

  We dare to dream, believe, acheive, receive
Our lives we evaluate, contemplate, recreate
Endlessly seeking validation, destination, admiration, expectation
Using our imaginations, Succombing to lifes' sweet temptations
Surrounded with lies, disguise, your demise, no surprise.